When you talk, chat, discuss or speak to someone you know or don’t know, you may not acknowledge it with its due importance, but you are shaping your personality, your thoughts, your responses and your individuality with every word you utter.
After all, what are conversations about? Either affirming your beliefs in something, seeking a way of life or just plain validation of the self through sharing what you know or by making casual/light talk.
Being straightforward in speech and conversations is of utmost importance in today’s era of high-octane work environments.
It is not flashy vocabulary, high-end phrases or a foreign accent that shapes your image in front of others. Superficially, yes, it will create an impact. But in the long run, it’s going to be the content and the manner in which you speak that’s going to strike a chord in others.
The old cliché, Not what you say but how you say, is still a gem but only if you have an insightful mind.
So, it is not necessary to try to raise eyebrows by using words which no one can make head or tail of nor imitate styles of speaking which are copied from others.
Moreover, you may feel like trash while speaking to someone but still end up reverberating confidence by a slight change of your mind’s response.
The essence is to try to create an aura of assertiveness around you so that what you say is always interpreted as how you always intended it to be.
How to be Assertive?
Now, this does not have to be done stoically or with facial expressions bereft of emotions. Nah! You can have a cool and calm demeanor while talking and this is largely a matter of habit. You can’t wake up one fine morning and discover that you have a halo above your head and all you speak is perfect bliss. But you sure can try to become a valuable and meaningful speaker. It will require you to remain conscious of what and how you are saying things. And it is a positive exercise. It lets you keep tabs on yourself lest you mock someone unintentionally or be a me-too person to a conversation or whether or not you are paying any attention at all.
It’s got to do with you sticking to what you say. In other words, say what you mean and mean what you say. A danger spot here is when you are surrounded by people who look up to you or who you look up to. That’s when you may tend to botch things up. That’s when we feel the most vulnerable. Such times, we may try to impress others and end up promising or saying things which we may find difficult to measure up to later. So remember that you need to be aware of mostly those times when you are quite elated or quite sad. That’s when you can land yourself in trouble.
Oftentimes, we are a part of funny/general discussions with our friends and suddenly the course of the conversation veers in a way that we cannot relate to and we keep mum. Later, these very words spoken in the conversation are a means of deep anguish and we regret not voicing our opinion at the time when it mattered the most, instead of being a mute witness or a yes-man to someone’s ideas. Sure, someone holds an idea but we all can always agree to disagree.
Other times, we don’t set the record straight only because we are afraid of coming across as rude and that others will not have a goody-goody opinion of us if we say outright what we find funny and what nonsense. When we don’t, people take us for granted. When we do, they respect us.
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